The Peregrine Falcon has flown into my world today to remind me of the importance of communicating our own truth.
These days I mentor very small writing groups. However, whether I have two or twenty-two people participating, those engaging invariably draw odious comparisons and think that their work is not as good as the work being presented by others.
When this happens I remind people that:
♣ a voice trained to live in a dark cave has a strong inner critic to keep it there. You learned to judge yourself relentlessly and to be cautious, and now your inner critic cautions you at every turn. It questions your natural inclinations, your spontaneity; and it ensures that you don’t stand out, and judges you when you do.
♣ When the inner critic dominates, self-worth is swept away.
♣ You are actually speaking the words of someone else
♣ It is natural to de-value your ideas and opinions if they are not heard and valued when you are young. You learned to question their worth, and now in adulthood, you continue to question them and struggle to share them with others.
Perhaps you can add some advice about how to be compassionate to the voice that wants to speak its truth!
Reblogged this on MY ENDURING BONES and commented:
Great advice from my friend Heather!
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Great! Thanks AM!
When I realized I never said cruel things to my dog when he made mistakes and I saw how great he was turning out (confident, happy, ) I started to do the same with myself.
No yelling at myself, no belittling myself, staying calm and consistant in what I do.
Sounds funny I learned that from dog obidience but it works!
Brilliant comparison AM! I never yell at people or belittle them yet I have been very hard on myself! The whole self compassion concept of being a friend to yourself does work but your idea of treating yourself in the way you treat your beautiful buddy is one I will use for myself.
When I start to brow beat myself
I just pop an image of Hamish’s face in front of my mind’s eye and say, “Go on, say it. Be mean. I dare you”
Can’t do it.
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